From Detachment to Detachment

So Sarah & got to talking on our car ride to Madison Tuesday. Our topic of conversation seemed to be two different topics, then by the end we were both convicted by a radical (at least it is radical for the two of us because we had not thought of this idea before) idea that these two topics can be one topic.

So Topic ONE: we were talking about detachment and how God is working in us in great ways to encourage us to be more detached to our stuff; our books, clothes, food, money, car, house, toys and tools etc. This detachment in the last couple of months has taken on two models. 1) Us giving or throwing away lots of things we don’t need. 2) Freeing us up to share with others who need or want the item. This growth in detachment has cause a huge growth in our desire for community and having all things in common. Having this dream that one day I won’t see “my” stuff as mine anymore. I have felt such a freedom in this great concept of detachment.

Then Topic TWO: We started talking about work around the house. And how sometimes Blake leaves his dishes in the sink for days before cleaning them so Sarah feels strongly motivated to do all our dishes immediately after eating to not have a double standard. In the sense that if Blake leaves dishes for a day we become frustrated but if we leave the dishes for a while – well we had a good excuse or had another thing that was more urgent and we are going to get back to our dishes later - type of double standard. We also got to talking about meals and cleaning at the house in Mississippi where we stayed for our Mini Mission Trip. Feeling like Sarah & I were always leading the cooking and cleaning and no one else would lead a cleanup. If we asked most everyone would jump in and help. But it was like no one else saw the work on their own. They had to be made aware of the work to help with it. We were like this is their work too. Now to be honest, I enjoyed doing the work & enjoyed serving the group in that work. Tuesday morning Sarah was doing dishes and Blake had left a mess on the stove from when he last cooked and Blake came down and was sitting in the kitchen waiting for his ride to work. So Sarah simply asked Blake if he would want to clean up his mess on the stove. He did with no problem. Likewise we talked how it would be a good way to serve Blake by washing his dishes and show him love and mercy. He’s done nothing to deserve us doing his dishes for him but we do it anyway, because, I have done nothing to deserve salvation but Christ died anyway. I guess dishes pales in comparison.

However as we continued talking about this Topic TWO I felt the Lord nudge me back to Topic ONE. We kept using language of “our” mess & “his” mess. “my” work & “their” work. I felt God saying the better way to look at this would be to be detached from who “owns” the work you see to be done. So I don’t look in the sink and say oh there’s Blake’s dirty dishes again, well I can either let him do his work or I can be nice and do his work for him. No, I come to the sink and say, oh there are dirty dishes to be clean, I can either clean the dishes or not.

This seemed to make sense to both of us and also convict us and challenge us to think, talk, & work this way. I know this is not going to be easy to incorporate and will take constant effort and accountability from those around us. I also realized in this conversation that the Lord was already working this in my life in small ways already. The Example came to mind of the couple times I’ve visited The Apartment in Platteville & I saw a sink full of dirty dishes. I cleaned the dishes and dried and put them away. Looking back, I can honestly say I didn’t see the dishes as The Apartment’s work that I was doing for them. I just saw dirty dishes and wanted to clean them. That’s it. I didn’t think I was being nice or that they now owe me some favor in return. Praise God for starting the work of detaching me from this before I was even made aware.

Summary in Bullet form:

• Detachment of things: “my car, my house, my phone, my toys, my tools”
• Detachment of work: “my project, my job, my mess, his mess, I am doing Blake a favor by doing his dishes – this leads to sense of anger or feelings of this is not fair he owes me now and why can’t he clean up after his mess.
• Verses “hey look there is A mess on the stove. There is work over there. I feel invited to clean or to do this task I am made aware of. It is not my mess or your mess or my job or your job it is simply A job.
• - Do I have the time & skills to do the task? Then I do it.
• The radical view that nothing is ours not this house, money, car, tools, toys, body, hands, & feet – I’m just temporarily using it.