I was going to make this just a comment to John’s post about community taking effort, but it got a little long, so here it is as a full post. I agree that community can take some serious effort, and that effort definitely should be put forth in most cases in community life. I did have a thought that there are also times when it will take effort to be an individual and/or to ALLOW others to have their space as well. Thinking of the trip, a couple moments come to mind.
One was working on a little eyebrow deally at the end of the day on Friday to make the soffit, siding and fascia to all tie together on the corner of the house. A few of us had a little brainstorming session and came up with some ideas, but with all the jobs being done, I ended doing the actual construction of the thing. The work was frustrating at times, but to tell the truth I really enjoyed solving it and I am glad that I had the opportunity to go at it alone. It was incredibly freeing to be able to go at my pace and not have to discuss everything out loud (although I can get in some pretty good arguments all by myself). Anyway, it was great to both share the work of the house, but at times be able to work or struggle on something alone for a while. I’ll leave it up to you to apply that to other aspects of life, because I don’t want to. I know you can do it.
Secondly, I think to the car ride back home. Being an introvert who had just spent a week with 4 other people almost nonstop, I was pretty ready for some serious inside my own head time. I popped in my earbuds and shut everything out. I really enjoyed being able to just sit and think, and I feel like it was fruitful. However, I realize that to the rest of the group, I seemed like I was angry or something was wrong, which I am very sorry for. To top it off, I did get frustrated when someone would ask me a question. How dare they try to interact with me while I’m thinking? So, I do think that there are times to just be alone, and perhaps even to let yourself or others be alone to their thoughts, even when you are physically close. I know that I haven’t been successful in handling this well, but there must be a place for it.
I leave you with this quote of great importance and wisdom:
To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?,' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.’
-Jack Handey
Eric,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing. I've learned so much since marrying an introvert and have come to respect that need for time alone even more since our trip. I am sorry for not working harder to create more space for that during the week and am glad you got most of the car ride to yourself (except when you'd take your ears out when we would stop and I'd ask you an annoying question. =)
I would most likely have been so frustrated with trying to make that corner piece of the house by myself. I'm so glad it was a positive experience for you.
May God continue to teach us all and stretch us through each other. Looking forward to growing together as a community! May we all continue to share our needs and work to serve each others'.
Why is my comment font so squished together? Crazy! =)
DeleteHaha, yeah I don't get why the comments are so cluttered looking. No worries about the trip. The questions weren't annoying, I was just trying to get some 'introvert time,' but I just was doing it in the wrong way - trying to push everyone away (ignoring, being short tempered, whatever it looked like) and for too long.
DeleteIts definitely going to be an interesting experience growing in community together. Learning everyone's peeves, quirks, strengths, weaknesses. Tough stuff right there (but exciting!)